


Lost and Found

by forgoo



Category: Sala Samobójców | Suicide Room (2011)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4460696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgoo/pseuds/forgoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A follow up to A Sea of Woes. The five years in which Dominik and Aleks go from strangers to lovers and the road inbetween.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In The Darkness

It always begins the same, with a symphony of chaos. There are people everywhere, piled into a small room like sardines. They don’t move. They never move. The faceless people simply stand and stare. Their eyes bore into Aleks like needles to his skin. He’s filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. Somethings going to happen. Something always happens. Aleks just can’t remember because the symphony reaches a crescendo before all sound ceases to exist, swept into a vacuum, along with all the air in the room. The sea of people part to present a long dark hallway. Aleks could swear that the room had no exits but his gut tells him to move forward.

At first, Aleks thinks he’s alone as he moves down the corridor. He’s wrong. In the stillness Aleks can hear the sound of his own heart beating. It beats like a drum and just beneath the sound is another drum beat, faint but there.

He’s nearing the end of the hallway when he hears it: crying. The dread wells up in him again, having been momentarily forgotten it hits him at full force.

He can feel the eyes on him. Aleks turns to look over his shoulder. The people are gone but the needles remain. When he turns back, there’s a dim flickering light at the end of the hallway. It illuminates, what Aleks believes to be, the source of the crying.

The memory seems to click into place and Aleks remembers. He remembers why he dreads this. It’s a person. They’re curled up on the ground in the fetal position, sobbing softly. Aleks recognizes them almost immediately.  

“Dominik?” Aleks calls out as he races the short distance remaining between them. He knows its Dominik. It’s always Dominik.

As Aleks kneels down, unsure of what to do, the sobbing stops. Dominik looks up at him. His eyes are dark and worn with tears. “Why does it hurt Aleks?” Dominik asks, his voice broken and earnest, before looking down at his hands. Aleks’ eyes follow, and realizes with a start, that Dominik’s hands are covered in blood. “Why?” Dominik asks, but Aleks isn’t paying attention because there’s a gaping hole in Dominik’s chest where his heart should be.

Aleks doesn’t know how to stop the bleeding. He gathers Dominik into his arms. “Somebody, anybody! Please, help!” He screams, but no one hears him. They’re all alone. “Dominik stay with me. Don’t leave me. Oh, god. Please, god.” Aleks chants in between his heedless cries for help. He only stops when Dominik begins to speak.

“Why are you hurting me? What did I do wrong?” Dominik whimpers, clutching weakly at the wound. “Why?” He sobs desperately.

“I’m not- I don’t-” Aleks tries to form coherent thought in his panic, but fails miserably. He doesn’t understand why Dominik seems to think that Aleks is the one that has done this horrible violence. He doesn’t understand, that is, until that memory too seems to resurface. “Oh god.” He all but moans. “Oh god, Dominik. I didn’t- I never meant to-” He’s not sure what he’s trying to say but he doesn’t have a chance to finish because Dominik cries out again in agony.   

Dominik fists his hands in Aleks shirt, pulling them closer together. He’s having trouble breathing. Aleks is trying to apologize while simultaneously begging for Dominik to stay awake. Dominik holds Aleks eyes with his gaze. He can’t speak anymore but his eyes convey the emotion that’s been constant: betrayal.

“Stay awake. Please, you have to stay awake.” Aleks sobs. Dominik’s eyes have long since fluttered close. His skin has gone cold and gray. He’s limp in Aleks arms. Dead.

It always ends the same way. Aleks cries and cries and cries. A voice tears through the darkness, swift and shrill, “WHY?”

It’s enough to jar Aleks from the nightmare. It’s enough to leave Aleks awake for the rest of the night curled in on himself, crying. He’s always tempted to call Dominik, just to reassure himself that the nightmare was only that. He’s desperate to hear the soothing lull of Dominik’s sleep-rough voice telling him that it was only a dream, that he’s safe. That too, is something of a dream. Aleks knows better than to indulge in such fantasies.

The fact of the matter was Aleks hasn’t seen Dominik in months. The last time he’d seen Dominik, it was on a night much like the one he was having now. Dominik was staying in the guest bedroom and Aleks was watching over him from a rocking chair. Dominik’s hair was shorter than Aleks had ever seen it since knowing Dominik. The tuft of freshly cut hair only peaked out from amongst the mountains of blankets that were pulled tight around him. It was the sort of thing that had made Aleks smile in his sleep deprived state. He didn’t even realize he was giggling until Dominik woke up and told him to shut up.

“Can’t sleep?” Dominik had asked after they’d sat in silence for a considerable amount of time. Aleks hesitated before nodding his head. Neither of them spoke for a moment. Aleks wasn’t sure if he should leave the room or stay. The indecision must have shown on his face because Dominik simply sighed and said, “Come here.” as he sat up in the bed. Aleks moved slowly across the room and sat gingerly on the edge of the mattress.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Aleks apologized, tugging absentmindedly at a loose thread of blanket. “Watching you sleep--” He knew how creepy he was being. He could admit to that. He just needed to find the right words. “It helps.” He concluded.

Dominik frowned. “With sleeping?”

Aleks shook his head and laughed nervously. He wasn’t ready to talk about it. Talking about it just made the nightmares more real. The room was silent and it took Aleks a minute to realize that Dominik was still waiting for an answer. He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. “No.” He said. “Nightmares.” Aleks hopes with all his heart that Dominik won’t ask into it any further. In fact he was so caught up in hoping, he doesn’t notice the momentary look of shock that washed over Dominik or the following look that could only be described as sympathy. But, when Dominik said nothing at all, Aleks could only assume the worst. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- I won’t do it again. Sorry.” He made to escape but a warm hand curled around his wrist anchored him to the bed. Aleks froze.

He looked over to Dominik, who was stretched across the mussed blankets. Dominik’s voice was soft but clear, “Stay”. Aleks’ eyes dart from Dominik’s face and then back down to where Dominik’s hand has somehow slipped into his own. The feeling of Dominik’s hand in his sent a strange rush through Aleks’ body. He settled back onto the bed. “Stay.” Dominik repeated, once again waiting for Aleks to respond.

“Okay.” He breathed.

Dominik tugged on his wrist and led Aleks forwards. He briefly let go of Aleks’ wrist to pull back the blankets, but as soon as he finished, his hand is back on Aleks’ wrist. Dominik wiggles to his right, making room on the bed. Aleks didn’t have to guess what Dominik was up to, and suddenly he was nervous again. Dominik seemed to sense that and quickly said, “You don’t have to. I just thought it would be more comfortable than the rock chair.” But, Aleks quickly shook his head and lowered himself in the space that Dominik had made for him.

In the darkness, Aleks could hear Dominik let out a contented sigh, but all he wanted to do was fidget with the blanket. Dominik turned in the bed to face him. “Stop.” He commanded, his voice something of a growl. Aleks frowned and focused on the blanket. Dominik rolled his eyes and reached out to grab Aleks hands. With Aleks attention now on him, Dominik whispered, “Sleep.” And then proceeded to wrap Aleks’ arms around himself, bringing their clasped hands to rest on his chest.

Aleks knew this was a strange position to be in, but for the moment he decided it was best not to think too much of it.           

Now, Aleks thought about that night a lot. He thought about how Dominik’s skin felt against his in the cramped space of the guest bed as they slept, spooned together. He thought about the things Dominik had said to him as they drifted off to sleep. He remembered how they woke, legs tangled together, his face nuzzled in Dominik’s neck, hands around his waist. Aleks wishes he could have stayed in that moment forever. Thoughts of Dominik are always in the periphery of Aleks’ mind, however, those thoughts more often accompanied by the memory of his latest nightmare.

The nightmares were painful and had long since taken their toll on Aleks' sanity. And, so, laying in his bed, alone, tears tracking his cheeks, Aleks decides it is time to forget about Dominik Santorski.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! And now with 200% less of a clue to what I'm doing than when I wrote Sea of Woes! Sorry if the tenses got confusing. I'm hoping that this chapter made sense. If not, let me know in the comments please.


	2. Immortality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From pain comes beauty.

The waves beat down on the shore with a fury that Dominik is sure he must be imagining. Despite what metaphors might have the world think, nature simply runs its course. It is not methodical, or manipulative, or kind. It simply is, and Dominik wants to take comfort in that if only it didn’t make him feel so powerless. So instead, he tries not to think about the petty emotions of the waves and concentrates on the real reason he is sitting on a beach in the middle of winter. But a particularly harsh wind catches the hood of Dominik’s sweater and pulls it back, exposing him to the cold spray of the ocean. He closes his eyes and his thoughts run a mile a minute.       

His mind takes him to a warm bed and a familiar face.

A voice pulls Dominik from out of his own head. “How are you so damn pretty?”

“Shut up.” Dominik mumbles in response, eyes still closed. He tries to throw himself back into his thoughts because what the voice has to say isn’t what Dominik wants to hear.  

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as pretty as you.”

Dominik jerks his head to the location of the voice. The voice belongs to the stick skinny body of one Gabriel Wyka and Dominik can see him smirking behind the camera that’s obstructing his face. “What did I say?” Dominik glares.

Gabriel moves the camera away from his face and pouts. “You’re no fun.” He comments, pacing the few meters from where he was previously crouched to plop down beside Dominik in the sand. “You really need to learn to lighten up.” He says leaning into Dominik. Dominik is half tempted to push him away, but a small part of him likes the contact (not to mention the warmth) and presses back into the heat of Gabriel’s body. Dominik wants to explain why he hates the sentiment but that would mean having to explain Aleks and he doesn’t want to share Aleks with Gabriel. Not yet. So instead he hums in agreement to Gabriel’s statement and doesn’t say anything further.

“I’ve got all the photos I need for my project. We can leave whenever you want.” Gabriel says softly, pulling away from Dominik to remove the camera strap from around his neck. With the heat of the second body gone, Dominik has no objections to leaving. It’s cold, and grey, and he’s worried that if he stays much longer, the ocean will reach out and swallow him whole (although he doesn’t voice the last concern because if the ocean were try and take him, he would let it).

Gabriel reviews the pictures on his laptop the instant they return to his small studio apartment. His attention is fully focused on the bright screen. It’s one of the qualities that Dominik likes about his new friend. Whatever he’s doing, Gabriel will do it with his all. From taking photos to handling a conversation, you can guarantee that Gabriel will put everything he has into it. To say that he’s an intense person wouldn’t quite cover it. So, when Gabriel is immersed in his single object of attention, it’s up to Gabriel’s boyfriend to keep Dominik company.

Adrian was sprawled out on Gabriel’s bed when the pair returned from their excursion. He knew better than to vie for his own boyfriend’s attention, who was in the process of booting up his laptop the minute they arrived, and turned his smile to Dominik. “How was it?” He asks, stretching out his arms to Dominik.

“Good.” Dominik returns a small smile of his own. “Cold.” He adds as he clambers onto the bed and into Adrian’s welcome embrace. They exchange small talk about the events of the photoshoot for a while before falling into a comfortable silence.

Adrian has fallen asleep when Gabriel turns to them and says, “You were thinking about him again weren’t you?” It’s a statement that cuts through the warmth that had settled into the room.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Dominik doesn’t meet Gabriel’s eyes that have latched onto him from across the room like truth-seeking missiles.     

“Oh give me a break Dominik.” Gabriel sighs, his eyes drifting over to Adrian. This isn’t the first time that Gabriel has brought up this topic. “I’ve known you for how long now?” He makes it sound like they’ve known each other since birth when in reality it’s been a little more than a year. Dominik’s itching to correct him when Gabriel continues, “I mean, I’d have to be blind not to notice.”

Dominik feigns ignorance. “Notice what?”

“When you get that far-away look, you’re seeing his face.” Gabriel sighs.

“And who is this hypothetical ‘ _he’_?” Dominik asks.

“The miserable ass who broke your heart.” Gabriel says with a certain air.       

“You’re ridiculous.” Dominik rolls his eyes and carefully untangles himself from Adrian.

“It’s romantic in a sad and demented way!” Gabriel teases. “Besides, you don’t hide it very well.” He gestures for Dominik to come over to his work space. Dominik is reluctant but he’s also curious. “Look.” Gabriel instructs, clicking on a photo that quickly enlarges and takes up the space of the screen.

Dominik understands what Gabriel means as he looks over the photo. He wonders if he’s always this transparent or if it’s only when he’s looking at large bodies of waters. He doesn’t ask. All he can think to say is, “Oh.”

In truth, Dominik wasn’t transparent at all. Gabriel had managed to capture an instant of time in which Dominik had allowed himself a kind memory. It was a memory that had numbed him to the spray of the ocean and the cold of the wind. It was a kindness that in turn caused him so much pain. Gabriel had captured that pain and immortalized it. And it was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Adrian will more or less be recurring characters. I hope you like them. Dominik needs friends who aren't complete assholes. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


End file.
